365 Days Ago..

Wow, I don't really know where to start except for I have been doing a lot of thinking today. It was a year ago to this hour that I was in the emergency room after a motorcycle accident. At first I did not really think into it. I figured it was kind of ironic that we would hit a dog in the middle of Lansing. Later I was to the stage that I couldn't believe God would allow this to happen to me. This was supposed to be the biggest year of my life. I was going to finish my track season as the captain of the team, walk down the aisle at graduation, and then head off to college. My dorm room was paid for at MSU. My plans were set. God had a different plan. He was going to stretch me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And that he did.
Showing weakness is one of the hardest things for me. I had to sit back and watch my sister have loads of fun her last few days of high school with our friends, sit on the side lines of prom with my crutches as my only date, watch everyone zoom by me as they were planning our open house, and much, much more. Instead of being at school with my friends, I was lying in bed. Of course it wasn't too bad when they were all studying for finals, I was playing Go Fish with Ethan. (We became pros at card games)
Becaue of the small campus and my sister attending Spring Arbor University, I decided it was the place for me. I knew I was going to have a second surgery over Christmas and the smaller campus would make life a bit easier. I am sure Jess sometimes hated everytime I asked her for help, but she never showed it. (God may have stretched her as much as me!)
At first I did a really good job of putting on a mask, that nothing bothered me. After a few weeks into college I realized I put on the happy face for too long, hoping no one would really notice how much I hated not being able to participate in everyday activities.
Hopefully life will sometime get back to normal. This week was an encouragement because I was able to run for the first time. In two weeks I have a doctors appointment so I can get a knee brace. Then I will be able to play volleyball.
I thank God continuously for even being able to walk at all. I realized I took for granted being able to take a single step. That also reminds me of the amazing family that stuck with me and still does when I am having a bad day. Mom and Dad filled up my ice packs and gave me medicine at the craziest hours at night. I don't think they got much sleep for a long time. My mom always said she "became one" with my leg. When I was having a bad day, Mom and Tricia would make me laugh by saying, "You'll be alright!" They knew it would make me smile.
Through all the tears and questioning I have learned to keep trusting God. He is in control of my life.